My answer on Quora to what to do about depression.
"(from somebody who used to suffer greatly from depression)
"1 - Start with first things first - work on the depression. As you’ve already noted, if you don’t get this fixed, it will derail everything else in your life.
"Don’t use drugs (neither prescription nor recreational) to soothe this. That will just mask the problem - and will cause other problems. You need to get to the root cause of the problem - whatever is causing the depression - and work on it.
"Humans beings are not meant to be depressed. It’s not normal. There are reasons you are depressed. Depression is a signal (like pain) that something more fundamental is not right. You need to identify what the root causes are. Ask yourself, “Why am I depressed?” “What’s wrong?” Don’t stop with easy answers (“the person whom I want to love me doesn’t”), but rather go deeper. “Why do I need this person to love me?” “Why can I not be happy if this person doesn’t love me?” ‘Why can’t I move on?” “Why can’t I be happy with just myself, without that person?”
"Don’t take shortcuts here. You need to go through this process. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and ask, “What’s wrong with me?” You need to face it.
"2 - Identify the things you can change in your life for the better, and work to change them. At the same time, identify the things in your life that you are not able to change, and learn to accept them - and not worry about them. If you fret about the things you cannot change, you will just add unnecessary stress to yourself.
"Learn this prayer:
'God grant me the courage to change the things I can,
'the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
'and the wisdom to know the difference.'
"3 - Look for ways to serve other people. Remember: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Serving others will actually make you happier. It’s true!
"4 - On a clear night - especially one when the moon is not bright - get away from city lights and look up at the stars at night. If you’re completely away from city lights, it is AMAZING to look at them! It is truly wonderful. Then, focus your mind on this thought: “The same God who made those stars made me.” Let that sink in deeply.
"5 - Read the Bible. Seriously. Start with some of the Psalms, in the Old Testament. Alternate with some reading in the Gospel according to John, in the New Testament.
"6 - Pray. I mean it. Ask God for help. If you ask sincerely, he will surely help you. He is a very present help in time of trouble.
"7 - Start attending church. You have to be very careful with this one, because there are so many bad churches out there. But find one where the preacher preaches the Bible truthfully and humbly - and will talk to you the way I’m talking to you now. Make some friends there. (Again - not always easy, but you can do it. Refer to 3 above.)"
