Learn a new word today: Ultracrepidarianism

I was in discussion with a doctorate student in a different field (I use the word doctorate to distinguish from grad meaning Masters because there is sometimes a difference in the two and discussions). We were talking about the tensions between not wanting to be in an academic bubble, but also the frustration of feeling isolated sometimes as a doctoral student working toward being a candidate.

She shared she hesitates telling people her field or dissertation, because suddenly everyone is an expert and offers her opinions or thoughts about her field of study.

When she politely offers what she has researched or has learn from the sources she does have access and knows others don't, it tires her how the conversation turns to an argument and she simply closes her eyes and regrets saying anything.

Though she gets they are trying to be helpful, she wished many times people will simply say "Cool" and offer a much-needed plate of cookies and especially coffee after a long night of studying and research.

She knows people mean well, but wish for better understanding, while they have Google, she has spent more time and focus on her study of the topic and used materials she has access to and was taught how to find unlike simply Googling.

Maybe understand its not pride or trying to be arrogant, but some people actually have more access to information others don't and have more expertise than others. It's called "Academic humility"

We both agreed, Google PhD is plentiful.

We struggle with wanting to bring the human side of academics at this level but find our circle small and sometimes self-censoring because, for us, we feel caught now between two worlds.

Harder especially like me, when the individual is a mom with kids, and we both crave academic discussions and encouragement. Still, for us, our minds are filled with more than chores, kids, and Fortnite, but at night or during the day, we jump between two worlds were in one, we are debating and discussing conversations challenging us how we think, feel and see the world and in the other, we are being asked for more chocolate milk.

She asked if I find myself hiding the fact I am working on a doctorate, and I share yes. It's like hiding a secret because I don't know how people will react, and its often not supportive, and as moms, students, and people, we do crave the need for support and encouragement. Having our family as our cheerleaders help, and I think I may end up turning this into a blog post. Still, end of the day, it's frustrating to sit, smile, and grapple with "wanting to be normal," and on the other hand, our brains are juggling methodologies and comparative data studies which are more than "this is just how it is."

We joked, if anyone can see the mind of a doctorate student, it would be a bit terrifying because it takes any topic and principle, and viciously dissects and breaks it apart, due to it is essential to do so in our field.

So be kind to your friend-spouse etc. working on a doctorate.

You may see the waves on the ocean, but they are deep-sea diving in a sea of information and data.