My top ten list for Ph.D. students -

Top 10 Ways to Know You Are in a Ph.D. Program
10. When your friends look at your ‘light reading,’ they run away screaming.
9. At the top of your grocery list you put the ‘word count.’
8. You start forgetting the names of family members and simply refer to them as ‘primary’ or ‘secondary’ sources.
7. When your spouse sends you a love letter, you grade it and return it.
6. When answering questions about what you want for dinner, you realize that half of your answers are “ibid.”
5. When you write Christmas cards for friends and then realize that you used thirty footnotes on each card.
4. At restaurants you keep accidentally asking for a syllabus instead of a menu.
3. You complain because road signs have no thesis statements.
2. You consider caffeine to be one of the basic food groups.
1. Your grocery list includes a title page, table of contents, and a bibliography.